Amma's Dharsan on Sep 7th has gave great impact in many youths life we are posting Dharsan Experience of Prabhuji who is regular participant of TEAM150 meet and he is a Architect. Don't Miss AMMA PERSONAL DHARSAN for Youths on Sep 28th. For Details & Registration : 98841 52133 / 99404 55229 We will keep posting you all other youths miracles shortly.......
Amma's Darshan & Team150 Teachings Changed my life - Prabhu
Dear friends,
My experience is an awakening. If it's possible to me it is possible to anyone!
I would like to share my experience with you guys after Amma's Darshan. There could be many people like me who are in conflict and this message would help you all.
Earlier I had attended the All India Youth Convocation last month. It gave me tremendous insights and I really understood the truth, beauty and essence of relationship in that class. I learnt how to be comfortable with people, situations and life at large at that moment.
I used attend Sabari Dasaji's Team 150 class regularly. I started practicing those wonderful teachings in my life. I couldn't even have dreamt to have got such guidance in my life. I was able to see my life changing day by day. It was in this class that Dasaji had insisted us to attend Amma's Darshan. I attended it only because Dasaji had insisted. He also told that it is a rare chance we may not get again.
The Darshan program started with Homa. I took sankalpa for my vision in it. Then came the Breakthru class and we got great messages and teachings there. I was clear about my vision (because in Team 150 class Dasaji had clearly explained and gave clarity about Vision and we practiced and worked on it) and what I had to ask Amma. But suddenly after the class was over and we were about to go for Darshan I felt a sudden pain and separation from my vision. I was filled with conflict and knew I was in Breakdown triangle. I thought, everything that shouldn't happen was happening to me. I was worried "Why when I am nearing the Darshan, of all times I am moving to such a terrible state." I was in suffering.
I went into Amma's Darshan Hall and waiting to see Amma. The suffering was no more there. I was filled with energy and waiting to see Amma. The curtain's opened and I saw our Beautiful Amma clad in a Green Coloured Saree. I was filled with joy. I kept on watching her and I could also feel that there was a total change in the feeling within me. The suffering had disappeared. I went and touched Ammas feet as she gave Deeksha to me by touching on my head. I asked Amma for my Vision. Amma created my vision for me into the future by closing her eyes and Visualising and then said Ok and nodded her head. I came out went to the temple and received Deeksha.
Without my knowledge I again started to move into suffering again. The next day I was still suffering and wondering what this feeling was. It was odd. It felt as if it was there within me when I was young but it was a painful feeling. There was pain and suffering what ever I did. Even my Vision was a pain. I was also trying to accept it (as per the teachings) but it remained the same, the whole day. My attempt to accept was futile. I latter understood that it was fear and insecurity that I was going through. I thought it will be there now and I had to live with it. I felt as if I am a complete failure in life and it felt terrible. After some time I got so frustrated with the issue that I decided there is no point in living with this. Let me quit. I thought atleast I can forgo my vision. It was so much pain. I thought I can't achieve it and no point in suffering for it. I gave away every thing. I gave away even the desire that I had asked Amma. I came to a situation where I thought it was Ok even if what I had asked Amma won't materialize. I was ready to accept all failures and live an ordinary life.
But suddenly the suffering & pain disappeared. There was only silence within me. I was happy now. Amma brought to my knowledge the verse from Gita where Krishna tells Arjuna after showing the future about Arjuna's Victory in the war that even if you fail or die in your pursuit, it's not a problem. You would have died doing your duty which is your swadharma and also you would reach only me.
It gave me a realization that I am not to worry about the end result. What ever is my swadharma or pursuit for accomplishing my Vision is the most important, and not what happens at the end. It is in the process towards that Vision where glory lies and not the end. The end is only an agglomeration or sum total which is beyond my hand. That is God. He decides that destiny, and what it should be. I can only focus on the now and today. I can set right the smaller things that reach my mind and thought. I can only place one brick at a time. But that it finally becomes a palace or a temple is not in my hand. It is the beauty of God or his technical ability that my small-small effort is put together as a whole to become a huge Success.
I began to realize that I wasn't affected by the struggle that was present in my mind until then. I realize as I am writing this that it was a situation of no conflict. At that moment I felt as if, whether a thing that I wanted, happened or didn't happen I had the same feeling within me. I was freer and was able to do what I felt like doing. I felt I had an inner guidance from my heart and I was acting upon it. I usually think a lot for everything and my mind is always in conflict whether it is right or wrong or what if people think like this or that. Now I didn't seem to worry about that. I just was doing what I felt I had to do and the same old thought might or might not come but it carried no emotions and wouldn't affect my work. I had the presence within me and I was able to feel it.
4 Days after darshan and in my present state I am feeling very happy whatever I am doing. There is no reason for it. I still know what my focus is on - My Vision. After all that is my purpose of life. And I remember the teaching that Amma had given me on the very next day after meeting her - Go step by step and one by one towards my vision and don't even bother about the end result. Whatever my experience, my only focus is my vision.
I would also like to share an experience that happened to me yesterday:
My mother came and sat in front of me. She was talking. I just saw her and I felt only love. I kept on watching her like a child. That was a moment where I can find resemblance where we would experience the same thing when we see a cute little cat doing wonderful and innocent things. I was admiring her and the situation. I was in joy and everything became joy. She asked what happened and why am I looking like that. She knew the difference. I was laughing because there was nothing but joy. What can I tell her? Then suddenly or rather spontaneously I told her I will give her Deeksha. She was surprised and asked why? It didn't even bother me and I gave Deeksha as she received it. There was only presence filled within me and I was in a peak state of joy during these moments. There was no thought or I was near that state. I gave Deeksha for 3 minutes or so until the command came to remove my hands. I sat down and relaxed. I knew it was very powerful. I just sat watching her in meditation. She opened her eyes and told that it was very powerful. She felt something going within her. Few hours latter she told that she had become freer and felt very relaxed and rejuvenated.
I would like to remember at this moment 4 years back before I knew Amma Bhagavan, when I sat in my College Classroom and wondered looking around, "Why am I like this? Why can't I be happy like other people? Why should I suffer like this?" That moment I felt as if I was the unhappiest person in the World. But now, I am very happy. I know there are many people in this world like me who are struggling and suffering.
My experience is an awakening. If it's possible to me it is possible to anyone!
Prabhu
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