Saturday, July 19, 2008

Modern Truths & Sayings

Modern Truths & Sayings -

* Whenever I find the key to success --- someone changes the lock.

* To Err is human --- to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.

* The road to success --- is always under construction.

* Al©ohol doesn't solve any problems --- if think again, neither does Milk.

* In order to get a Loan --- you first need to prove that you don't need it.

* All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening.

* Since Light travels faster than Sound --- people appear brighter before you hear them speak.

* Everyone has a scheme of getting rich --- which never works.

* If at first you don't succeed --- Destroy all evidence that you ever tried..

* You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down --- it will always land on the buttered side.

* Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.

* 42.7% of all statistics is made on the spot.

* As soon as you mention something --- if it is good, it is taken --- If it is bad, it happens.

* He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden rule.

* If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late --- the bus is still late.

* Once you have bought something --- you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.

* When in a queue --- the other line always moves faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions.

* If you have paper, you don't have a pen --- If you have a pen, you don't have paper --- If you have both, no one calls.

* Especially for engg. Students -

If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.

* You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.

* All DTC buses are crowded.

Corollary --- DTC buses in opposite direction always go empty.

* The door bell or your mobile will always ring --- when you are in the bathroom.

* After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the other.

* If your exam is tomorrow --- there will be a power cut tonight.

* The last person to be fired or quit is responsible for all the errors --- until another person is fired or quits.

* Irrespective of the direction of the wind --- the smoke from the c!garette will always tend to go to the non-smoker

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Contemplative Questions

Here is a set of questions that would provoke you and put you through some soul searching. They are not about religion nor about ethics. They are merely about you.

They are not meant to serve as solutions nor are they meant to lead you anywhere. These questions are meant to serve as tools to discovering yourself.

1) Do you perceive the Presence of a benevolent force guiding, protecting and shaping your life? What name do you give that Presence? When did you best feel this Presence?

2) What is your opinion of God? Is your opinion drawn from religion, books, parents and or your personal experience of life?

3) Do you pray? Do they get answered? How often?

4) Do you think it is possible to relate to the Divine? What relationship would you opt?

5) Here is a story for you - Two fierce enemies once did a penance to placate god and receive boons vying with each other. God appeared to the first man and asked what he wanted. He said "give me twice of whatever you give my enemy". Then God appeared to the second one. Even before God could say anything he asked, "God, would you please tell me what my enemy asked for? On knowing his prayer request, he said, "then God, blind me in one eye."
Now what would you wish for yourself, your best friend and your worst enemy if God gave you a chance?

6) Have you ever experienced a coincidence or chance that seems to have involved so many people and factors that you can't stop wondering if a mastermind was behind this operation? If yes, do you savour the experience often and have you shared it with someone close to you?