Sunday, December 21, 2008

How to Set Relationships Right Sri Bhagavan Answers

Sri Bhagavan on How to Set Relationships Right

One of the fundamental teachings of the Dharma is to set right relationships. Exactly how can we improve or set right our relationships?

It is essential for you to first understand that " Life is relationships". Now coming to your question how to improve relationships? The problem of relationships cannot be solved through psychology. All effort to understand the other person completely can never help. It is like peeling an onion. As you go on peeling an onion nothing remains. Say, you are eating khova (a south Indian sweet dish), you don't try to understand, but just experience the eating of khova. In the same way, you need to experience the other person just as he or she is.

A husband trying to analyse or understand his wife will take him nowhere. "Analysis leads to paralysis". Everybody is constantly trying to understand, analyse, judge others while struggling to change the other person. Unfortunately, people fail to realize that this is impossible as all of you are like computers who have been programmed and hence have no free will of your own. Your past lives, birth traumas, childhood, education, culture and all your conditionings are in possession of you and your lives. Your life flows according to this program.

So, when you are trying to understand and change the other person; it is only one program trying to alter another program. This game goes on from birth to death. Supposing you are going to a movie everyday, hoping that there will be a new ending, a new climax. Will it really change? All of you are trying to change each other in the same way!

What you need to do is experience the other person fully.

When the husband returns home to find his wife screaming; he must experience her like watching a movie or drinking a glass of juice. What happened? Why it happened? Why is her nature that way cannot be really known. Remember, it is like peeling an onion.

If you experience - life becomes Joy!

It does not matter what the event is. You have to only experience the program. Stop judging and being critical. When you experience the other person, you would know exactly how to respond.

Abraham Lincoln was shot. Who is to be blamed? The person who shot him, the person who made the gun, or the person who invented it or somebody else. No person can really be blamed, for, a situation is dependent on so many factors. It is not possible to pinpoint a single reason. If you look at The Bible, it also tells us " Judge not least ye be judged".

Unless something happens to the program itself, say through Grace, nothing can change. If the wife screams, experience it... is it possible? Thousands have done it. It is simple and practical. If you experience people, your heart flowers and synchronises with Earth's heartbeat. My Grace flows and your problems would be solved.

If you don't set right your relationships, I really cannot help you to the extent I want to help you. So start experiencing people and events.

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Contemplative Questions

Here is a set of questions that would provoke you and put you through some soul searching. They are not about religion nor about ethics. They are merely about you.

They are not meant to serve as solutions nor are they meant to lead you anywhere. These questions are meant to serve as tools to discovering yourself.

1) Do you perceive the Presence of a benevolent force guiding, protecting and shaping your life? What name do you give that Presence? When did you best feel this Presence?

2) What is your opinion of God? Is your opinion drawn from religion, books, parents and or your personal experience of life?

3) Do you pray? Do they get answered? How often?

4) Do you think it is possible to relate to the Divine? What relationship would you opt?

5) Here is a story for you - Two fierce enemies once did a penance to placate god and receive boons vying with each other. God appeared to the first man and asked what he wanted. He said "give me twice of whatever you give my enemy". Then God appeared to the second one. Even before God could say anything he asked, "God, would you please tell me what my enemy asked for? On knowing his prayer request, he said, "then God, blind me in one eye."
Now what would you wish for yourself, your best friend and your worst enemy if God gave you a chance?

6) Have you ever experienced a coincidence or chance that seems to have involved so many people and factors that you can't stop wondering if a mastermind was behind this operation? If yes, do you savour the experience often and have you shared it with someone close to you?